Advice for dealing with new relationships
Article by Catherine Taiwo
Advice for dealing with new relationships
When we are actively dating we sometime forget what the end game is all about- relationships. we can forget why we are dating in the fist place and what we hope to achieve .the result of this is that when we finally someone we like and spend time with them and start falling in love, we panic, the end result is dating is a relationship, maybe a long term one, maybe a relationship leading to marriage ,therefore take your time to get it right .We argue all day when dating becomes a relationship, maybe after 3 months, maybe after sex .maybe after meeting their parents, even after moving in together .for some relationship begins at engagement, for others it occurs the moment the other party agree to see each other again .it doesn?t matter one day we accept that today we are in a relationship. Okay what should we do to sustain it?
Communicate
Talk to each other. talk a lot, and keep talking. the first thing that goes wrong in any relationship is a change in any communication. People in relationships stop communicating (gradually) and this quickly turns to taking your partner for granted. When your better half comes home from work talk to them about whatever they like, even if you are tired. ALWAYS look at your when you are listening and talking. I have seen this more than I can ever describe one person in a relationship talking; the other person repeated saying yes whilst looking some where else. If you want your relationship to remain fresh, interesting and inspired, communicate on every level.
Enjoy yourselves
Have fun in your relationships as though you are on your first date. fun is fun whatever the age, you should be laughing and having a great time even if you have been together 40 years, so coming home saying you are tired and dreary everyday wont work. You were not like that when you began to date so keep it alive constantly findings ways to have fun together. Laughter heals a lot of ills and at the end of the day; you are together because you enjoy each other?s company that should never change.
It takes two to tango Relationships are not one sided affair but a commitment and agreement between two people who want to share their company, space time, and lives together. If you are not married you are not obliged to do this with anyone at all so if its not working out then makes sure you don?t hang about. If it is working out then make sure you that you both putting into the relationship in your joint well-being. As long as both of you are in your relationship it will work the problem arises where one feels it is simply too one sided. So always take a rain check every now and again to check every now and again to ensure that you are both fully committed as you should be.
We are not the same.
Accept that you are not the same people, neither clones of each other. You have separate interests, hobbies emotions and moods. be sympathetic to each other as well as given each other the regular spacing the require without too much questioning. Just because you have come together for a common good doesn?t mean you don?t need an afternoon off occasionally and neither does it mean that you love each other any less. Ensure you retain your space and special time and activities and retain your self identity as needed. if this causes a problem you guys need to talk.
People are human
No one in this world is perfect. when we meet some one we like we may have set high standard that is fine, but human beings have a lot of strange quirks and ways of doing things .not everything will meet you approval and not every element of behavior will be perfect. We don?t; live in an ideal world and we don?t live in a fantasy land. difficult relationships are normal and understanding that is the key .we all begin by dreaming that everything will be perfect. And then something happens that upsets us .take this in your stride .accept it and move past it .loving someone is about everything in life, not just about idealistic romance.
Arguing may be healthy
One of the problems of relationships isn?t just the lack of communication that can develop but the retention of problems that are allowed to build up and then release uncontrollably. If there is a problem we should talk about it. Personal I hate arguing and it?s not part of my ideal relationship view. However there is a great deal to be said for having a good shout and a good argument. we release our releases our frustrations and suddenly we are communicate stress is released and we feel better and in any relationship the best thing about an argument is the afterwards were we feel emotionally, sorry for getting angry, and we make up in the most passionate of ways.
Don?t change
Keep dating your partner and keep the romance alive .love them like you?ve just met them. Surprise them constantly buy flowers or gifts when you want to .little notes and gifts are important as is attention and spend time with each other.whilst you may both be having commitment. That is absolutely no excuse not to call spontaneously or to make breakfast in bed for your partner unexpectedly. Whilst people naturally do change over long periods of time, it is down to keep the passion alive and to do so you do need to make the dating effort. so my advice is keep dating your partner and make them feel freshly loved .
Relationship takes work
Yes, don?t fool yourself. Your parents may have been married for 40 years but that doesn?t mean it has been easy .they will often say that relationship and marriages take a lot of work. What they mean is a great deal of understanding, compromising negotiation and overcoming off problem and difficulties along the way. Making time for each other is essential. Often this will mean putting your self second and taking a back seat. It may mean that you choices aren?t a priority and won?t always be first. Solid relationships are about compromise and acceptance doesn?t underestimate what that means nothing worth having came for free.
About the Author
http://cattylove7-romance.blogspot.com/ is a legal practitioner but takes to the world of romance and true life stories
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Source: http://gettingaexback.org/articles/advice-for-dealing-with-new-relationships/
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